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Should you date tall or short men?
Is he cute, or are your ideas about how tall your man should be just wildly incorrect?Like most things that go viral, the question is both relatable and haunting: Is he cute, or is he just tall?
It's an exposing personal critique and it calls for a moment of self-
There's a cultural obsession with dating big men, enough so that guys are seemingly more likely to list their height in a dating-
But is limiting your pool of dating options to the six-
Emily, 26, lives in New York City and stands for shorter guys.
I am 5'9", and I've dated three guys, all of whom were shorter than me. The shortest was barely 5'6" and my current boyfriend is 5'7" and is incredibly cute, hot, beautiful, etc. It's comfy to date shorter guys! You can be the big spoon, but it also doesn't make the small-
I've always been kinda whatever about height, probably in part because I'm gray-
"Throw gender roles and perceptions of power based on appearance out the window!"
A lot of people think I'm going to be shorter than I am in real life because I present very "cute" and "soft." I feel like people associate height with some level of power or dominance, so it's an interesting dynamic to be a taller woman who isn't intimidating. I've been with men who are confident about their height and I'm confident in mine, and I think that's pretty much all you need. Throw gender roles and perceptions of power based on appearance out the window!
People who only date taller people don't get to make nice tweets about dating "short kings," and they don't have a shoulder that's at the perfect height for their boyfriend to rest his head on. It's a very cute experience to date someone shorter, and I'm all about cute stuff.
Pam*, 25, lives in Fairfax, Virginia, and is a sucker for a tall man.
I am a sturdy, small girl who would be fine with a shortish guy...but just isn't. I am 5'3" and my last ex was 6'6".I know I'm susceptible to the tall-
"My lack of depth perception makes it so that I perceive any guy 5'8" and under to be my height."
I'm a victim of "is he cute or is he tall" syndrome. There's, like, an implied charisma. A tall guy has learned how to deal with his long body and height; he has to carry himself well. And even if he doesn't, it doesn't matter because he's so freaking tall, he's going to stand out anyway.
Part of my attraction is just how different it is—nobody in my family is tall. I'm already on the shorter side but someone tall emphasizes that. I like thinking about my big personality reining in this TALL dude. Plus, my lack of depth perception makes it so that I perceive any guy 5'8" and under to be my height. It's also possible I developed my attraction to tall guys as a defense mechanism, given that any situation where I've dated a guy 5'8" or under has dealt me the trials and tribulations of massive compensation in the form of an overblown ego and performative masculinity.
I guess Darwin or whoever would say that there is some animal level of my brain that thinks a tall guy can protect me, and I would agree. There is some allure in having to look up at a guy. It’s funny to project my voice constantly instead of actually looking up, which I rarely do in these relationships.
I wouldn't ever date a guy shorter than me—I am SO SHORT ALREADY, I CAN'T DO IT! I once felt extremely catfished by a guy on Tinder who looked different from his profile in many ways, and notably his height. He was 5'8" and kept bringing up crying about his ex and how he didn’t believe in trigger warnings. Did that set me up to only like tall guys? Possibly.
"I admit I linger a little longer on a tall guy with an average personality."
So many of the apps list height now! I can't say that I filter, but I admit I linger a little longer on a tall guy with an average personality. And I swipe right on totally incompatible guys who are unfathomably tall just to see if they'll match with me.
One final tip: In the scenario that you, a petite person, want your tall and lanky boyfriend to lie on top of you unmoving to act as an anxiety blanket, it will not work because of the weight distribution. It is disappointing and I want to warn others. Maybe if the tall partner has more mass, it would work out just fine.